Mother’s broken heart

I broke a mother’s heart today.  Hers is not the first, and I neither expect nor hope it to be the last.  Not until our society destroys its last Gomco clamp and Plastibell device.

Why must the truth be so hard to come by at times?  Why do some ignore their instincts, others never acknowledge their existence, and others still put all their faith in spouses and family members who claim to know what’s best or in doctors who lie by ommission?

In the end babies suffer.  They scream in torture or fall silent or unconscious in a state of shock.  Then these babies grow into men who also suffer–depression, anger, resentment, premature ejaculation, loss of sensation, erectile dysfunction.  And these men take on sexual partners who will suffer, too–dryness, abrasion, unfulfillment.  Yet enough function remains for new lives to be created and the cycle to begin again.

More misinformation, more pain, more guilt, more heartbreak.

Routine infant circumcision (and now the adult circumcision Americans are selling to HIV ravaged nations) is the greatest American atrocity masquerading as a cultural norm since slavery.

My heart shatters too each time a baby screams and no mother pulls him tight against her chest, each time a man realizes the extent of what his scar represents, each time a mother stumbles upon the truth and reels from the feeling that light will never again shine in her world, as all must have gone black for the one she loves most.

You, Mother, are neither stupid nor horrid nor evil nor a bitch nor any other insult who’ve spewed in your own face.  You, Mother, are a victim, too.

Be brave, be strong, be fucking angry like you’ve never been fucking angry before.  But never let the darkness swallow you whole.  Other mothers need you.  Their baby boys need you.

See the video that broke a mother’s heart here.

“There is no rational basis to justify circumcision.” -Dr. Michael Malloy, professor of pediatrics who oversees the University of Texas Medical Branch’s Pediatric Residency Training program in circumcision

5 thoughts on “Mother’s broken heart

  1. I already know the atrocity that is circumcision, though not by experience as both my hubby and son are natural and intact…but the more I see, hear, read about circumcision, the angrier and more disgusted I become. I have never watched a full circ video…I get to the baby strapped down and my stomach both falls into the pit of my belly and chokes me. It almost makes me literally sick. I clicked on the link you provided. I am glad the dr does at least tell the risks (though, in a rather nonchalant way, like ‘it will never happen to your son, so dont take them TOO seriously’ even though the risk of further sugery is about 10%!), but honest to goodness, how can any parent have that put before them like that and they go ahead with it? It blows my mind! ‘It is cosmetic only, it might remove too much skin and require further surgery to reconstruct, it might remove part or all of the penis, it can cause death.’ Sorry, what? No way!

  2. Thank you, I needed to read this. However, I could not watch the video because I witnessed my own son’s circumcision. It was extremely traumatizing for both of us. I deeply regret allowing my first son to be circumcised. Thankfully, we lear
    ned more and did better for our second son, who is healthy and intact. Now, I use my knowledge and regret to advocate for genital integrity.

    I love this quote…

    “You, Mother, are neither stupid nor horrid nor evil nor a bitch nor any other insult who’ve spewed in your own face. You, Mother, are a victim, too.

    Be brave, be strong, be fucking angry like you’ve never been fucking angry before. But never let the darkness swallow you whole. Other mothers need you. Their baby boys need you.”

  3. “There is no rational basis to justify circumcision.” -Dr. Michael Malloy, professor of pediatrics who oversees the University of Texas Medical Branch’s Pediatric Residency Training program in circumcision.
    If the good Dr Malloy truly believes that, why does he “oversee” training the next generation of doctors to perform RIC?? “Put down the scalpel, and back away from the baby!” said Penn Jillette. Can’t doctors simply say “there is no rational basis to justify circumcision” to parents who demand it??

    Mamaraw, the depth of feeling your reveal about RIC makes my heart pound and my breathing harder. You feel more strongly about this violation of male sexuality than the vast majority of men who have been violated. American RIC is doomed, but doctors are not leading the way here. Nor are adult men wounded by their circumcisions. It is women of your generation who are doing most of the work to stamp out this epidemic sexual violation of boys. Routine infant circumcision is an insult to women. I am not sure why this is, but I am profoundly grateful to you and your sisters.

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